Friday, October 28, 2005
Thursday, October 27, 2005
I want to be more purposeful with my time. That doesn't mean that I have to be doing something every second or have every moment planned, but lie Jesus used every moment He had to either pray or minister, I want to do the same. This doesn't mean that I'm going to go preaching in the streets. I don't think God's calling me to that. It means more time on this computer writing and creating something that God will use to bless others and me in the process. I've been wanting to for a while, but I put it off until later.
My excuse is that I have to go to bed early so I can wake up early. That hasn't been working. I just sleep more. Well... I'm deciding to stay up until I'm too tired to type. Then I'll go to bed for a short amount of sleep and still try to get up early. If my body has a problem with that, it will just have to make me more tired earlier. Then maybe I'll have a normal sleep schedule. Naturally, I get tired at four and wake at noon. Everytime I have the flexability, I fall to that schedule. Should I fight or go with it? My job says I should fight.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
I work mostly by myself, but I really enjoy people and I gain energy through interaction with people. So after work I find friends to hang out with and by the time that's done, it's time to go to sleep. I don't want to stay up super late because I already have a hard time getting up in the mornings. On top of that, I am also taking care of someone's business while they are away on their honeymoon. It's a new job for me... Temporary Business Management. I've also climbed a mountain and attended a wedding. More on that later.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Anyway, a friend of mine woke me up today. I didn't like it but it was good. Another friend says he wants to meet with me early on Friday. A bit of an incentive to get up early... We'll see if it works.
I'm tired... I'm going to stop typing now.
Friday, October 14, 2005
I have been advised to go to bed earlier. This is a nice idea, but in practice, it doesn't work. I just sleep longer. My body would love to sleep ten or twleve hours a day if I let it. There is just something about high noon, though, and the grumble grumble of my stomach that gets me going.
It's been hot here lately, and I love sleeping in the heat. I also dread getting up in the cold.
The Bible says not to love sleep, nut it also says that God gives sleep to those He loves. Boy do I feel loved.
On another, sadder note, like an "F-flat" or something, a friend of mine is leaving me. Well... she's not just leaving me, she's leaving everyone fora job five hours away. She isn't leaving until Saturday, but her goodbye party was tonight and I don't expect to see her again before she leaves. I'm happy for her, and her new job sounds wonderful, and God has just laid everything out in front of her. We know it's His will... and I praise Him for that. I'll just miss her, that's all. We all will. The only ones who won't are going to be the other Softball teams in the league who won't have to go running after the balls she's hit or won't be out because she catches the ball at first.
For anyone who doesn't know me, it wasn't like we were dating or anything. We were just friends. On Tuesday, I was able to schedule myself in on hte long line of friends that she hung out with her last week here. She invited me to climb Bishop's Peak with her before we went to dinner. We went up fast and I was surprised that she pushed so hard. We had a good talk at the top about death (what else is there to talk about up there?) as we watched the clouds envelope San Luis Obispo and we watched the sun set behind the clouds. We saw deer and turkeys and squirrels and lizards and vultures. We almost ran down the entire mountain and had a big dinner. Then we watched a movie with some other friends. Shadowlands. She fell asleep on my floor, covered in a pink blanket with her glasses on.
So you might be sasking what my feelings are for her. Sasking is what people do when they ask questions already expecting a certain answer. Either that or they mispell the work asking. work... I mean word. My fingers are getting sleepy. So, about feelings... I don't know. I know what some people think I feel, and what they have been hinting at or use to be hinting at with the inflections of their voice. But I prayed about it and God has bigger plans for her. That was two years ago when I first met her.
Earlier, at the goodbye party, we were asked for first impressions. I couldn't remember at the time, but thining about it now, I remember sitting next to her in the cramped backseat of my friends car. It was winter and I was wearing a thick jacket, but even so, I could feel her breathing through the side. She was talking about how she likes guys who talk more. I didn't say a word. Not because I wanted to be on her bad side, I just couldn't think of anything to say that wasn't stupid and/or pointless.
I also remember her being impressed by some guy telling her the crazy stunts he's tried to pull before and hurt or almost hurt himself in the process. I was surprised that she was impressed. I wasn't. I also remember driving her and another girl home from a Bible Study, and listening to her explain how to listen to God to this other girl. That was awesome.
In conclusion, even if I was admitting feelings, which I'm not, because I'm a guy and according to page 352 of the manual, we don't have feelings because we're tough... yeah, tough... she is a very impressive girl in many ways, and no matter what I may or may not feel, I'm not enough.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
I woke up at 8:45 this morning. Exactly. My alarm clock did not go off.
It was perfect. I have been having a hard time getting up in the
morning, but this time was easy because I had to go to the bathroom. I
have been wanting to read and write a bit before work, but I don't want
to get up earlier, and I don't want to go to work later because that
means I stay later and by the time I get off, all my friends have eaten
dinner and I only have a couple of hours before I'm supposed to go to
bed so I can wake up early the next day. Besides, if I'm not there
early, no one will answer the phone and I have to deal with people who
are angry because they live on the east coast. They might also be angry
because to them, it's ten in the morning, and what business isn't open
at ten in the morning... hmm... perhaps businesses in California aren't
because it's seven here and well... I'm sorry, I lost my train of
thought. seven in the morning is just a... I'm sorry. I forgot what I
was going to say. It's just that the thought of seven in the morning
is... never mind.
So, with my schedule the way it is, and my current responsibilities the
way they are, the best way to read and write before I go to work is to
get up even earlier. I don't know how early. I don't want to get up
early, but I can't think of anyway around. Getting up more than fifteen
minutes before I have to be somewhere is going to take a lot of
discipline. I don't know if I have enough... we'll see.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
So they came back. They came and I was in bed, trying to weasel five
more minutes out of the day. I heard the doorbell, but didn't get up
because I thought my roommate Josh was expecting someone. I heard him
answer the door and I could tell from the voices that the Jehovah's
Witnesses were back again. I prayed as I threw on some sweats and made
my presence known behind Josh, who had the door open a crack and poked
his head through. They (the Jehovah's Witnesses) were talking about the
Kingdom that God's going to set up on Earth and asked Josh to read from
Daniel. I started talking about how Jesus said that His kingdom was not
of this earth or His servants would be fighting and how John the
Baptist said, "Repent, for the Kingdom of God is near." I asked if they
believed that by near, they thought he meant over 200 years in he
future. They said yes. We said more stuff, but what I noticed was that
she wasn't trying to convince me. He attention kept trying to tear
itself back to my roommate, who I'm sure was thinking. "I need a
shower." She pushed to have a time to come back and talk to Josh. She
tried to set up a time but he doesn't know when he will be available.
Honestly, I don't think I said everything that I should have, but I
don't think that I said anything that I shouldn't. I felt God's
presence there and as I made my presence known behind Josh, I'm sure
that the Jehovah's Witness (the one that I could see, the other one
wasn't in my frame of vision.) felt God's presence. I could see it in
her eyes. I'm asking for prayer, of anyone who reads this, that if they
do come back, I will be ready to do what God has in store for me. I
think it would be easier if I was home alone when they came back, so
they wouldn't be distracted by trying to convert my roommate and have
no choice than to listen to me or leave. Please pray that I am bold and
truly relate God's truth, both His Word and His Love to these people.
Since they are still alive, roaming this earth, I can't help but think
that God hasn't given up on them yet, so they need the Gospel. They
know the Gospel, but they need to accept it as something more than
background knowledge or history. They need to understand that our God
is a personable God and we are not here on earth to work to obtain
citizenship in the Kingdom God's setting up, but that we who believe
are already citizens in Heaven. Pray for my roommate. If they do come
back, it will be for him, and not for me. I gave him a good fair
warning about them after they left. I gave him a Bible verse to look up
later (2 John Verse 7) and I've been praying for him ever since. I
don't know how strong he is in his trust in God. Please pray for both
of us. He did take that shower.
Last time I left the conversation with a comma, and this time I left
it with a period. My roommate left it with a comma so they're back. I
want them to come back, so I can end it with an exclamation mark.
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