Friday, October 14, 2005

Well... the morning thing was a bust.

And I don't mean heads and shoulders, nor am I talking about shampoo... I have the hardest times getting up inthe mornings. Every solution I find only seems to be temperary because I adapt and sleep through whatever alarm it is I set. Also, if I do wake up, I often talk myself into sleeping a few more minutes and well... a few minutes turn into a few hours and well... it's lunchtime before I know it.
I have been advised to go to bed earlier. This is a nice idea, but in practice, it doesn't work. I just sleep longer. My body would love to sleep ten or twleve hours a day if I let it. There is just something about high noon, though, and the grumble grumble of my stomach that gets me going.
It's been hot here lately, and I love sleeping in the heat. I also dread getting up in the cold.
The Bible says not to love sleep, nut it also says that God gives sleep to those He loves. Boy do I feel loved.

On another, sadder note, like an "F-flat" or something, a friend of mine is leaving me. Well... she's not just leaving me, she's leaving everyone fora job five hours away. She isn't leaving until Saturday, but her goodbye party was tonight and I don't expect to see her again before she leaves. I'm happy for her, and her new job sounds wonderful, and God has just laid everything out in front of her. We know it's His will... and I praise Him for that. I'll just miss her, that's all. We all will. The only ones who won't are going to be the other Softball teams in the league who won't have to go running after the balls she's hit or won't be out because she catches the ball at first.
For anyone who doesn't know me, it wasn't like we were dating or anything. We were just friends. On Tuesday, I was able to schedule myself in on hte long line of friends that she hung out with her last week here. She invited me to climb Bishop's Peak with her before we went to dinner. We went up fast and I was surprised that she pushed so hard. We had a good talk at the top about death (what else is there to talk about up there?) as we watched the clouds envelope San Luis Obispo and we watched the sun set behind the clouds. We saw deer and turkeys and squirrels and lizards and vultures. We almost ran down the entire mountain and had a big dinner. Then we watched a movie with some other friends. Shadowlands. She fell asleep on my floor, covered in a pink blanket with her glasses on.
So you might be sasking what my feelings are for her. Sasking is what people do when they ask questions already expecting a certain answer. Either that or they mispell the work asking. work... I mean word. My fingers are getting sleepy. So, about feelings... I don't know. I know what some people think I feel, and what they have been hinting at or use to be hinting at with the inflections of their voice. But I prayed about it and God has bigger plans for her. That was two years ago when I first met her.
Earlier, at the goodbye party, we were asked for first impressions. I couldn't remember at the time, but thining about it now, I remember sitting next to her in the cramped backseat of my friends car. It was winter and I was wearing a thick jacket, but even so, I could feel her breathing through the side. She was talking about how she likes guys who talk more. I didn't say a word. Not because I wanted to be on her bad side, I just couldn't think of anything to say that wasn't stupid and/or pointless.
I also remember her being impressed by some guy telling her the crazy stunts he's tried to pull before and hurt or almost hurt himself in the process. I was surprised that she was impressed. I wasn't. I also remember driving her and another girl home from a Bible Study, and listening to her explain how to listen to God to this other girl. That was awesome.
In conclusion, even if I was admitting feelings, which I'm not, because I'm a guy and according to page 352 of the manual, we don't have feelings because we're tough... yeah, tough... she is a very impressive girl in many ways, and no matter what I may or may not feel, I'm not enough.


Anonymous said..., seriously

Jonathan Dow said...

James had a previous comment that was deleted because of language. Sorry James.