Wednesday, December 10, 2008


I've been out late. I want to get to bed, but I just wanted to tell you my latest idea. I want to get a bunch of business cards made that are completely black. Find people on the street, and tell them that I'm a Ninja -For-Hire and if they ever need me, give me a call. Hand them a business card, and walk away. If they ask me why it's all black, then I would say that I only work for people smart enough to figure that out.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I am the Sabrot

I carry around with me a little book bag I got at the dollar store. It's olive green and I've had my mom paint Sabrot on it along with the little owl. The Sabrot was a magazine that I had a while ago to publish some of my stories, poetry, and other writings. It was fun, but too much work and expensive for me to keep up on my own. Tonight, while I was reading some biography books, (Traveling Mercies and Blue Like Jazz (yes, I was reading two of them at the same time (not really at the same time, but a chapter in this one and then a chapter in that one))) I came to the realization that I'm the Sabrot. It's like a made up name for me. It housed my thoughts, both the ones that made sense and the ones that don't. My life is too much work and too expensive to keep up on my own, especially with all the projects and ideas that I get. The owl is a good symbol for me. I like to stay up all night and sleep all day. I refer to my bed as my nest (I really do, since it is on the floor and I surround myself with pillows at night so I know where the edge of the bed is when I'm sleeping and rolling.) I don't make noise when I fly. I cough up the bones of the rats I eat in little pellets... okay, so that's not completely true. I only like to sleep for half of the day, but it's the first half.

Now that my discovery is in writing, it doesn't seem as important to me as it was in the bookstore when I discovered it. That's kind of a let down... anyway, I guess I'll just get back to life.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

So I have a new job

God has proven Himself faithful again. I didn't have any doubt this time, but He proved Himself anyway. I am now the newest employee at Calvary Chapel Chico. I went to my first Staff Meeting today and was introduced as a replacement for Michelle, who wrote a two page statement on why she was leaving (going to school in Tennessee) and how much she would miss everyone (very much) and how God told her to go. (You can ask her.)

When God told me to come up here, I left everything. I slept on a couch for a week. I've juggled finances down to under $5. I lived on noodles and rice for a little while. But through the trial, God has provided a place to live that's cheap, comfortable, and allows Snaps free reign of the place. I became a Substitute teacher and can afford to eat more and nicer foods... like meat. I have even been able to feed a few other people here and there.

Now all of that is good, but what I consider great is what He has provided for me at Calvary Chapel Chico. I have been able to get involved with Church as a helper and a teacher in Children's Ministry and a leader in the High School Ministry and it has been a great place to use the gifts God has given me. But when I came up here, I came up here with the idea of doing ministry all the time. I was tired of waiting until 5:00 to serve God. So when I came up here, I told everyone that I wanted to be in full time ministry and I would like to work at church. They told me that there weren't any openings, but they didn't know that Michelle had decided to leave. I didn't know either, but God did. He knew and was planning on it the entire time. He had me move up here in time to develop these relationships so that when Michelle told the Pastors, they just knew who they should hire to take her place. I had been serving in those ministries since I moved up here and I was available, but not desparate. I was expecting to keep subbing until God showed me something else, and now He has. It's like a jigsaw puzzle (I'm currently putting one together. I'm almost done with it.) and He just placed another piece of the puzzle that is my story of how cool He is and how I am being made perfect through the patience that comes from the trials I endure because of the faith that I have in Jesus being God who died and rose again so that I could be made perfect. One day, that puzzle will be complete (I hope to finish my puzzle tomorrow or Thursday) and the picture you'll see won't be me, nor will it be my life, but it will be God. By then, He and I will finally be one like Jesus is praying in John 17:21. That will be a glorious day.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

My Two Dreams

I had a couple of weird dreams last night.

The first one I had was about a suicidal dog named Jamie. He wasn't just a dog. He could go back and forth between a brown scraggly dog and a person. He was really smart. He rigged a presidential election in the past. I am not going to tell you which one. It's not the one you think. He was thinking about doing it a second time and used a chip from his collar. I put the chip there because I thought it looked cool, since he was all smart and all, but I didn't know what it was for. I wasn't the smart one, Jamie was. However, Jamie felt bad for being such an evil person/dog and decided to kill himself to make the world a better place. So he started building a rocket powered kite, which he was going to use to fly off and crash somewhere. Then someone suggested that we just drive him out somewhere and run over him with the truck. I, of course, was against it. Even though he was an evil human/dog creature, I still loved him because he was my pet. I didn't want him to die. I told him that he could just use his smartyness (I told you I wasn't the smart one in this dream) for good instead. I woke up then, looked at theclock, realized that it was still too early to get up, and my own real life dog (named Snaps and cannot turn into a human and rig presidential elections) was still sleeping at my feet hopefully neither wanting to die or crafting elaborate plans for a kamikase rocket kite.

The second dream I had inolve a family that was not my own, but that's okay, because I wasn't me. I was some chubby kid with a buzz cut and twleve. I had a mom and dad (who weren't my parent's in real life) and a sister. (I don't have any real sisters and in the dream, she was about 16 or 17.) My sister was indestructible... and combustible; which isn't good especially mixed with a short temper. Anyway, she was fighting with dad again over something stupid again and her face was getting red again, so mom and I grabbed dad and pulled him out o the house. We got into the truck and started driving (it was a blue pickup) and then the house blew up. Dad wanted to go back, but we were scared and told him to keep driving. We looked back and Sister was coming after us in an El Camino. Burning debris was in the back her car. She was driving like she always did. CRAZY!
She chased us through town and ran us over the edge into the water. I think it was the ocean, but I'm not sure. She changed her mind and helped pull us out of the pickup. My parents were all happy that she saved us and acted like she didn't just blow up our house again. I wasn't so happy about it and stole off in a rowboat by myself to pout. The Water Ranger... Life guard in real life... started yelling at me about the mouse in the water. It wasn't an ordinary mouse, and I hadn't ever seen one of these mice before, btu I knew I didn't want to. My sister, anger spent, swam out to try and get it. For some reason, I didn't have an oar with me in the rowboat, but a pitchfork, which isn't very handy for rowing, but comes in useful in the happenstance of giant mice swiming near your boat. I stabbed the water a few times, but couldn't catch him. He escaped on land and ran off. I decided that I was going to catch him, mostly because I was angry at my sister for blowing up our house again and my parents for being okay with it. I finally found him and cornered him. I still had my pitchfork and approached him slowly. He was an odd mouse, not because he was the size of a cat, though he was. He was an odd mouse, not because he didn't have any fur, though he didn't. He was an odd mouse mostly because he didn't have any skin either, or blood, but his muscles were showing and the fibers were having problems sticking together when not constricted. Imagine you reach into a pot of water and pull up a handful of spaghetti. Kinda gross, huh? Well... I speared him, and as I picked him up on the end of the pitchfork, he screamed and thrashed and was no closer to dying than he had been a minute before. He was trying to get off, so I bonked him into the wall. It wasn't a hard bonk, but when I did, he got fluffy and cute. Once he regained his focus, he was skinless and mean again so I bonked him again... harder. He stayed cute longer because he was unfocused longer. Ths gave me an idea. I walked though town bonking him over and over until he was so cute and fluffy, I sold him to my worst enemy for $10. I felt pretty good about this until I heard my enemy scream because the cute fluffy mouse turned into the large skinless one and was terrorizing him like I thought he might. I woke up thinking that the one thing worse than having an enemy is treating him like one. I immediately reached for my Bible and read Matthew 5 where Jesus tells us to love our enemies. Can I repent for something I did in a dream when I wasn't even me in the dream? I did anyway.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

On arguing with your parents

Don’t do it. It’s not worth it. They’ll argue back. They have to. They wouldn’t be good parents if they just let you did whatever you felt like all the time. They have to constantly point you back to the line between good and bad and tell you that you’re too close. You think you can handle it. You’ll get close, but won’t cross over. They don’t believe you. That’s okay. Listen to them. Submit to them. Submitting doesn’t mean anything when you agree. When you disagree and still do what you’re told, that’s submission. They just want to keep you safe. They see danger or even the temptation of danger and they want to keep you away from it. They love you. They always will. If they didn’t love you, they’d let you do it. You are being selfish when you argue. You are telling them that you don’t respect their judgement and yelling at them hurts them. Even if they are being unfair, don’t argue. Jesus died for your sins. That wasn’t fair. He shouldn’t have to do that. If He can take that unfairness, you can take a little from my parents. So you don’t get to go hang out with your friends or see that movie. Your friends understand that you want to be a good child. If they don’t, then they aren’t good enough to be your friends. you don’t want selfish friends. You want selfless friends. A selfless friend always gets taken advantage when he is friends with a selfish person. Parents can see this and they tell you who you should and shouldn’t be friends with. You should listen to them. They aren’t trying to hurt you. They aren’t trying to ruin your reputation. They aren’t trying to make you uncool. They are trying to teach you what really matters. To reach out to befriend the friendless and not care what selfish people think. They are only trying to take advantage of you anyway. You shouldn’t argue with my parents about anything. You should just submit. You can still disagree, but you should voice your disagreement calmly and lovingly. You should let your parents understand why you disagree and that you intend to do what they tell you anyways. It is enough for you that they hear your point of view. Arguing with your parents breaks the fifth commandment and it goes against Ephesians 6. It’s a sin. Don’t do it. You’re trying to be good, remember?

Friday, October 31, 2008

I'm going to SLO!!!

I'll be traveling down to SLO for the weekend for a wedding. If you are reading this, and live there, (or close) here are the lunch plans.

Saturday, Nov. 1st - Firestones at 11am
Sunday, Nov. 2nd - Round Table in Morro Bay after 3rd Service at Shoreline Calvary Chapel (About 2pm)

Hope to see people there... well... people I know.

That is all. You may commence with your lives now.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Babysitting for the Spencers

I ended up babysitting tonight so my friends can have a night out without the five kids. I had other plans, but they weren't that important. I pushed one to Thursday and the other happens every week. This way, I get to be a blessing and I get to hang out with kids. I think I would rather hang out with kids than anyone else. (I don't currently have a wife or girlfriend, which may change my mind I get one. But if I get one (wife) then I can have my own kids to hang out with all of the time instead of borrowing kids to play with like I have to do now.) So I came over here at about 6 and they fed me dinner. Tuna Casserole and Peas. The youngest one had problems focusing on eating so I challenged him to a race. Now I am the slowest eater on the planet, but as the tortoise beat the hare, I beat Timothy... even though I warned him plenty of times that he took too many breaks. He did eat everything on his plate and followed that with a scoop of Ice Cream. I quizzed the other boys on Math problems during ice cream and they played 3-D memory until I told them that bed was happening in ten minutes. Then they decided to draw and/or color. The older boys did dishes and homework on the computer in the form of a fun math game where you beat ugly ogres by answering math problems. That's good to know in case you come across ogres in real life. Just shout out the answer to the math problem that appears on their chests. Just make sure you get it right before time runs out.

The younger ones had a bed time of 8, so at 7:15, they started getting ready by putting their stuff away, changing into their pajamas, (which was mildly interrupted by a short stint of streaking) and brushing their teeth. They were allowed to read for the remaining time until 8. I prayed with them and told them Bible Stories and left them to fall asleep on their own, which they did with only one minor incident. One of them got up to go to the bathroom and the other was too afraid to be in the room all by himself... but this actually happened at the reading time, so it doesn't really count.

I learned how to play Othello and I won my first and only game. (I don't attribute it to skill) I played many games of Uno and lost most of them, but I don't mind losing those types of games. I had a good talk with the oldest one and I love good talks. We were talking about applying God's wisdom to certain areas of our lives and I love talking about God. I will continue to pray for him to trust God and believe God and do what He says. Notice how I am not praying that he understands God. I don't believe we need to understand Him. (even if we could) All we need is to Trust Him, Beleive Him, and do what He says. Questioning His logic is a sign of mistrust, as if you are only going to obey only if you are convinced that it's the best instead of trusting that it's the best because it comes from Him. If that was confusing, too bad. You'll have to figure it out on your own because I'm ending this blog post.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Nothing worth reading. I don't know why I wrote it.

What's funny is there are spurts in my life when I am having a good time living life, bu there doesn't seem to be anything that I feel like I should document. I did get to sub for a 5th grade class on Thursday and Friday and it was great. I got to actually teach instead of play videos or act like a babysitter. We did science and math and spelling and p.e. and SSR and everything. I invented a game that I thought would be fun, but was thwarted when they didn't want to hold hands. Getting 10 year olds to hold hands for a game is more difficult than I thought. Friday night, after the High School Youth group, I got to take one of the kids out for a good talk and some Taco Bell. I really enjoy it when I get those one on one conversations. I went to Children's Ministry Bootcamp. It wasn't very exciting because there were no kids there. We learned how to recognize if a child is being abused and where the emergency exits are and all sorts of stuff that you don't really care to discuss, but is rather important if it comes up outside of the boot camp. I did get to play hackysack so that was fun. Then I helped clean up, visited costco for lunch and came home and took a nap. My roommate came home with some friends and I hung out with them for a little before I went to church to teach on Paul being humbled by the thorn in his flesh (2 Corinthians 12) so I brought a cane. Sunday morning, I subbed for a teacher and taught on Joseph running away to Egypt with Baby Jesus so Herod wouldn't kill him. That was a fun class too. So I realize that this isn't interesting. I just started rambling, but I'll at least let you in on the current dilemma in my head.

I enjoyed teaching the 5th grade class so much that 'I've been milling around in my head the possiblity of going for my credential and becoming a regular elementary school teacher. Here is what is stopping me. If I go back, it's going to cost money I don't have. I would have to borrow it from somewhere, which means that when I finally get my credential, I will have to find a job right away to pay back my loan. That might mean that I have to move somewhere else to find the job and I don't want to do that because I know God told me to move to Chico and I plan on being here until He tells me to go somewhere else. Now it's possible that He could tell me to go somewhere else once I get my credential, but I don't want to go into debt without knowing I'm following the plan He has laid out for me. I want to fulfill the reason I moved to Chico before I even think about leaving. I don't know what that reason is, but I'm sure I'll recognize it once I see it... or maybe once I past it. Anyway, that's my thought of the week. On Friday (Hallowween) I'm driving down to SLO to see some friends get married (on Sat) and it will be lots of fun. If you know me, and live in SLO, and didn't know I was coming down... SURPRISE!!! If you don't meet any of the requirements, then... ummm... unsurprise. I should probably stop now.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I got locked out of my dream

I realized this morning as I was giving Mark a ride to Butte College that if I wake up in the morning and think about the dream I had, even just a little, I can remember the whole thing as if it really happened. (Like a regular memory) If I get distracted and focus on getting out of bed, like I did this morning, then I forget what I dreamed about completely. It's like when I wake up in the morning, I walk outside the door, which swings back and closes on itself, and if I remember to turn and catch it, I can go back in and remember what is in there. If I don't catch it and it closes, the dream is locked in there forever... until I can figure out how to unlock the door. There must be a way, but finding the way might be way more of a process than the dream is worth. On the reality side of the coin, I was a PE teacher today and was reminded of the sarcastically wonderful smell of the boys locker room. Woohoo!!! Although it's the easiest subject to sub, it's not my favorite for just that reason... and also the other teachers do all the teaching, you just walk around and tell kids to listen, which isn't as fun as being in charge and instructing. In a classroom, I get to do something, and that's usually better than doing nothing... especially doing nothing and having to smell the boys locker room between classes.

Monday, October 20, 2008

ME Guest and i'm writing whatever come to mind.

Hi, I'm Mark Bohn. I guest writing for Jonathan. Hmmmm....... I'm not sure what to write. Well I'm staying the night at Jonathan's house tonight, mmm.... Today he hosted a party from 5:00-??? and most people left arounds 8:30. We played football outside, talked about whatever and had a rather large and loud game of jeopardy, which was pretty awesome. After everyone was gone, Jonathan and I watched the "drunken Master" Starring Jakie Chan. i also made a drink colster out of popsicle sticks and glue. After the movie ended we played with snaps, trying to trick her, But.... she was just a little too smart for us. And now I'm guest writing on Jonathan's blog. hmm... i feel like eating some right back....mmmhhhmmm....tasty!!! Wednesday is church... that will be sweet. i always look forward to church, Dave Thorwaltson is teaching through Romans right now and so far for the past couple of weeks the things he's been teaching on stuff that totally relates to me and my life. Soo..... i can't wait to see what the Lord reveals to me next through Dave.
By the way For those of you reading this that go to Calvary Chapel Chico... I'm a senior in High School and Don't attend the main service yet. Yup, Just to clear up any misunderstandings, Pastor Sam is still teaching the main service. I have butte classes tomorrow, that should be fun and then worship practice, and then a leaders meeting..... Yummmm.... fritos.... oh??? snaps is alseep, crazy dog, must of ran her out of energy earlier. Snore!!!!!, Actually she's not snoring thats what My dog does, she snores louder than something thats pretty loud, (all of the cliches' coming to mind seemed weird and cheap.)Shes a neopolitan Mastiff... A big dog with a wrinkly face and she drools when its hot out. Shes probably just about the oposite of snaps in energy level but she gets along with other dogs really well and loves people (after she gets used to them) to the point that she thinks shes a lap dog and wants to follow you whervever you go. her nick name is giantbaby,but don't let that fool you, she's one of the most devious dogs I've ever owed or seen, she sleeps on the couch, knowing she's not supposed to, only when you're not around. She can open all of the doors in our house, except one, witch is a nob (all the others are handles) So if we leave outside and don't lock the doors she'll open them and come in. She used to steel the freshly baked bread my mom made off the stove if we weren't around. She's still learning the rules. But i still love her and enjoy haveing her around.By the way, i live in Forest Ranch on eight acres of land with my parents so my dog has a lot of space to roam on. Well enough about my life and dog... Jonathans reading a book hmmm..... its title is...... hold on a second... "Blue like Jazz" It's not about music, like i thought, but about how the main character comes to christ. Sounds interseting. That reminds me.. I'm reading "Do Hard Things" It a very interesting book about how our generation is kinda of expected to be lazy during our late high school and early college years, and how we not only as christians but as younger people should step up to the challenge and what God has for us by doing the hard things that others won't do. Well i think i'm going to end my guest bloging now and go read that book........Mhhhhhmmm......Fritos!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Me not feel good

I've been sick all weekend. ick... I had a sore throat on Friday, woke up with an adjoining headache on Saturday, then I got a lot of prayer and a little medicine and today, I have a runny nose, sneezes, and a cough, but feel much better. I was going to take a picture up my nose and post it, but I didn't feel like doing that much work. I've been sleeping a lot. Anyway, you're probably glad you read this post, arentcha? I updated the links on the side to my friend's blogs. If you like drawings and paintings, check out Cas's. If you like photography, check out Mike Larson's, and for graphics and design, my brother Matt's blogs. Have a great week.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Never mind about Morro Bay

I don't think I will finish writing that post. It was a fun weekend. I enjoyed myself... the details are lost to time... I thought of an idea for a car design today from Apple. It's called the iCar. It comes in white and it's electric. You can get one with a longer battery fro $1000 more and that comes in black too. The silver hybrid model is called the iCar Pro. I'm also thinking about a personal mobile space called the drivePod. Perhaps I will get a chance later to come up with specs. For now, I must devote my thoughts towards my party on Monday. If you want to come, fill out this form:

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Morro Bay... almost

Last Friday, I got up really early and sat in a pickup truck for about seven hours on my way from Chico to Morro Bay. We actually went to San Luis Obispo because Cas of ran a half marathon... you can wait until she writes about that part. Anyway, since we both moved to Chico from the same place, we decided to share the gas and go down together. I had left a message with Josh Busron of to see if he wanted to grab lunch. He never returned my call. I met up with Josh Thompson (who doesn't keep a blog) and we went to Cool Cat's Cafe. Along the way, we met Josh Burson who saw me and said that he didn't know I was in town. Then he said that he had a message and didn't... you know what. This story was a lot funnier then. I guess I'm just not in the mood to put effort into this writing. I'm actualy kinda tired. It's almost 1:30 in the morning and I guess I should get to bed. I had church tonight which usually follows soccer or something else sporty so I guess I'm wiped out. I also am driving to Sacramento tomorrow morning. I'll try posting about Morro Bay again later. Goodnight.

Monday, October 06, 2008

The Baptism of Jesus

So my Pastor was teaching out of Revelation this morning, but he mentioned John the Baptist (only as an example of a man being called an angel because he was a messenger, not a cherub.) and that name instantly brought to my mind the scene of John the Baptist baptizing Jesus, not as the Bible describes it, (not against it either) but as a memory, like I was looking back at something that happened in my life, and the whole thing unfolded in my mind in an instant, and I thought it might be best portrayed as a one man play, acting as John the Baptist... I don't know, but let me describe what I saw:

John is walking out of the Jordan with a man he just baptized. John, in his camel-hair and leather belt was a man of girth that could withstand the cold waters of the Jordan without much of a problem, but the man, skinny and shivering in his linen garments, (maybe an ephod or a tunic? I'm not up to date on my Biblical Fashions.) hugged himself as he came out of the water to rejoin his friends and endure the criticizing and scrutinizing gaze of the observing Pharisee's. John starts talking to the crowd. "Repent and be Baptized! For the Messiah is coming! Repent of your sins!" He can feel the cold stare of the Pharisees, but ignores it as best he can.

Then Jesus walks out of the crowd towards John. "Jesus!" John exclaimes, and greets his cousin with a hug and a kiss. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"You have been living in the wilderness." Jesus smiles.

John laughs, "I guess I have."

"I want you to baptize me." Jesus continues to smile.

John laughs again. "Me baptize you? It should be you that baptizes me."

"But it must be this way, John, so that the scriptures may be fulfilled."

John is puzzled, but consents. As they wade into the river, John makes small talk about the Pharisee's asking the same questions over and over again. "Are you Elijah? Are you the Christ? Are they not teachers of the law? They will know Him when they see Him."

Jesus says nothing.

They stop waist deep, and turn to face the crowd as was John's custom. He whispers to Jesus, "I'm not sure what to say. What have you to repent of?"

Jesus simply says, "Immerse me."

John puts his large hand on Jesus' back and on his Chest and lowers him into the snow fed water. Upon surfacing, the clouds above part, and a light shines on Jesus. The Holy Spirit flies down the beam of light in the form of a dove and dissolves into Jesus' chest. John hears the voice, "This is my Son, in whom I'm pleased."

A thousand thoughts raced through John's head. "Of course! How could I have missed it. The way He lived, the way He acted, the things He said. How could Jesus not have been the Messiah" John takes a step back in awe of this revelation and being jolted back into the present by crowd on shore, he sstutters once, and stregnthens himself and proclaims loudly, "Behold, the Lamb of God."

Jesus, smiles at John, gives him a hug, and wades across the Jordan to the wilderness, leaving John baffled and bedazzled in the river. John continued to baptize, but not that day. The rest of that day, he walked to a secret place and laid out all his thoughts and memories before him, realigning each and every one to this new knowledge of his cousin Jesus, being the Savior whose way he was preparing.

So don't build doctrine out of this. It's my vision, which I believe I received from the Lord to renew the majesty of Jesus in my life. To invoke the emotions that I've become so good at living without. (Not that I am or will be subject to them, but that they will enhance my walk with Jesus unlike any way my mind could conjur.) This was for me. I cherish it. And I wanted to share it with you in the chance that God may speak to you through it. But I feel as if I have experienced this moment now, not just read it or thought about it. It is mine, just as God is mine. I don't control Him, but He is the one I run to and claim as my Abba Father. If I can encourage you to do one thing tonight, or today, or whenever you are reading this, it would be to take what you know to be true, and consider them in your heart. These aren't just stories that we are reading. This is history that has bearing on today. It will never fade away. We will know of these moments throughout eternity, because His word will last forever.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

The Hard Rock Candy Mountain

So I was reading a fake book about Hard Rock Candy Mountain. It wasn't really about it, but about a made up version of a song that merely resembles the Hard Rock Candy Mountain song. It's not a very good book, and I'm almost done with it... stupid long appendixes.

Anyway, it got me thinking that if I ever made an RPG game, I would have wanderers all throughout the game searching for the Mystical Hard Rock Candy Mountain, which would be like a kind of Willy Wonka Factory, where everything is edible... and candy. Here would be the back story for the wanderers (which would just be a minor subplot or even side plot in the game)

You: Why hello there good citizen of . I'm talking to you, but seemingly asking no question or doing anything to illicit information from you other than pressing the buton 't' on my keyboard. Yet, people always share their infomration with me anyways, as if I cared.
Wanderer: I'm looking for the Hard Rock Candy Mountain, have you seen it?
You: No I havne't. Is it near ?
Wanderer: I don't know where it is. If I did, I wouldn't have asked, would I?
You: Well.. no, I suppose not... I didn't think of that...
Wanderer: And if you had been there, you wouldn't have wanted to leave, so therefore, you wouldn't have met me on this road.
You: Why wouldn't I have wanted to leave? Are there unlimited amounts of dragons there for me to tame, ogs to kill, princesses to rescue, and towns wehre I can trade my wares?
Wanderer: No, there's just candy.
You: Candy?
Wanderer: Lots and lots of candy!!! Everything is made up of candy!!!! You can eat everything!!!!! Trees, dirt, rivers, rocks, houses, grass, bushes, everything!!!!!!
You: I see... ::You hand him a hankercheif to wipe the drool away:: and I wouldn't want to leave becasue I would be...
Wanderer: EATING CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: So no one has ever left?
Wanderer: Why would anyone want to?
You: Well, I'm just wondering how you knew about it if no one ever left.
Wanderer: I heard from this other wanderer when I was a kid. He came through my town and told me about it. I wanted to go, but my mom wouldn't let me. She called it a foolish fantasy, but I showed her. I left anyways.
You: But you haven't found it yet.
Wanderer: I wouldn't be talking to you if I had.
You: So you didn't really show her anything. In fact, you did the opposite of showing her anything by disappearing.
Wanderer: What's your point?
You: How do you know that the other wanderer wasn't lying?
Wanderer: He has been looking for it since he was a kid too. He listed off a bunch of places where he had looked and it wasn't. I memorized them and I looked in these places and it's not there either.
You: Can't you just look on a map?
Wanderer: My map doesn't get filled in unless I've been there.
You: Neither does mine... how does it know?
Wanderer: So now I'm off in this direction, but since you didn't see it, I guess I should go adifferent way.
You: But I still don't understand how you know the other wanderer wasn't lying. Or, if he was telling what he thought was the truth, that he wasn't lied too by another wanderer. If no one ever leaves, then how does anyone who isn't there know about it?
Wanderer: Well, that's the reason this one guy Throthendore left. He decided that other people should know about it too and went to tell the world.
You: What happened to him?
Wanderer: No one believed him becasue he had lost all his teeth, but that just proves that it's real! and as the information was passed around, the directions got kinda muddled.
You: There are directions?
Wanderer: Well... kinda...
To Get to Hard Rock Candy Mountain
Go east until you hit a fork
When you come to some foothills
Go up unless you're a dork
At the top of the foothills,
you'll see three tall peaks
Climb to the top of the highest one
And unless your eyes are weak
Gaze to the north, south, east and west
And search the horizon your very best
The frosting capped peak is the wain
To the Hard ROck Candy Mountain
You: The end doesn't rhyme
Wanderer: He's a toothless old man, not Shakespeare.
You: So you have the directions.
Wanderer: But not where to start, or which way to go when I hit the fork
You: Sounds like a cunumdrum
Wanderer: Tis my life
You: So what if you get there and everyone else who got there before you eats it all?
Wanderer: Don't be silly, you can't eat a whole mountain.
You: How much can you eat?
Wanderer: I... I... I should get going. Do you want to help me look?
You: No. I think that a mountain made out of candy is a stupid idea and only idiots will believe it, and I have better things to do like kill creatures roaming the woods and plundering their quickly decaying carcusses for gold, armour, and swords so I can tell all my friends that I have cooler stuff then they do and they will be jealous of me, even though I spend hours and hours of my day doing nothing that will profit me in life.
Wanderer: Well... where are you going?
You: I am headed to
Wanderer: Cool, I'll go with you.
You: Fine, do you know how to equip and use a sword?
Wanderer: Doesn't everyone?
You: You'd be surprised.

And sometime in your quest, you would run across the old toothless wanderer who admitted it as a lie to try and start his own religion, but then even later in your quest, you will find the real hard Rock Candy Mountain, which just happens to exist just as described, but it is tortureous. Everyone there is old, feeble, and toothless, licking everything trying to get high on suger, but it no longer works. The ones who get too tired to lick anymore die from sugar withdrawals and a don't do drugs screen flashes up for merely a second. The Wanderer who is your companion wants to partake, but by now, you like him and try to hold him back, calling him Gary instead of wanderer since that is his name. Once convinced that the Hard Rock Candy Mountain will never satisfy, he joins your quest as a changed man, also looking for cool armor and weapons. The two of you travel back to the toothless old man to reveal the truth behind the Hard Rock Candy Mountain and give him directions so he can see for himself. Even later in your quest, you run across him again, and he is going around gathering kids and building himself a cult army and you and Gary have to stop him before he takes over the world on the promise of candy.

You know how you get an idea in your head and you just have to follow it until it runs it's course and you never think of it again?

Well... I'm done now

Blanket and a Car Wash from God

I finally bought a blanket that is large enough to cover my bed! I know this seems silly to you, but it is a marking stone in my climb back from almost poverty. Between moving to Chico and buying furniture and paying people for lots of things so I can be a substitute teacher (fingerprints, CBEST testing (which I passed), more fingerprints, TB testing (which I failed), and the cost for the paperwork to go through (legalized and regulated bribing). I've had to prioritize my life. Rent -> food -> gas. I found a great cheap place to rent that allows my dog and I've been eating in a lot. Noodles and rice and sometimes Chicken (although now I can afford meat everyday.) and I took advantage of church get togethers with potlucks and free food nights. God has taken care of me. I haven't had to ask for food or skip a meal. I haven't had to ask for money to get by day to day. I was blessed with a road trip up north to Seattle, Washington and Portland, Oregon, paying my way through the trip by taking turns driving. I went and visited my parents (who filled up my gas tank for the trip back) and I have been riding a bike and a long board (not at the same time) around more. Buying a blanket isn't a huge deal, but it's one of those things I have been wanting to do ever since I got my hands on a full sized matteress. My Twin blanket didn't cover it anymore. The mattress is still on the floor, but I won't worry about that right now.

Also, God washed my car today. It drizzled and I went to Wal-Mart. While I was in there buying the blanket, the rain must have come down hard, because when I came back, there was a line of dirt around my car and my car was green again! Thanks God.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

My Blog has a new address

I am giving my blog the new address of because I figured out how to do it. If you please, change your bookmark to that new address because it's cooler than although not by much.

I know I haven't written lately, but I haven't thought my life exciting as of late. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy it. I'm teaching on Saturday nights and I jump in Sunday mornings when needed. I hang out with the high schoolers on Wednesdays and Fridays.. I just started tutoring and I'm trying to figure out how to get more clients. If you know of anyone who needs a tutor, I'm available. Anyway, I'm up way too late. Goodnight.

Friday, September 19, 2008

I shall call this post Martin

Sing a beautiful song, you star of the morning.
Sing to your maker a song
that is lost to us
across the rich soundless border of space

Praise the Lord, you ants
work hard and prepare for winter
the leaves are not far from turning
and He didn't make the Sabbath for you

Fly away you butterflies
follow the paths he has drawn in your skies
lines unseen and unknown
but still, you never get lost

Wait to praise Him, you rocks
Wait until the last one of us falls dead
or gives up the hope
by which we live

And I, I will wait until morning
and watch for the beauty inside me
placed as one might place a piece of art
in a private collection to which I have been invited.

On a different note... Maybe Evolutionists aren't that stupid after all

I was playing a game called Bunco that has to do with rolling three dice, trying to get a specific number. If I got three of a kind of the number I was going for, then that would be a Bunco. I got three Buncos. According to statistics, the chances of that are 1 out of 218 times. I didn't roll the dice 218 times, but if I did, then I gues I wouldn't have gotten another one. On the other had, someone got four Buncos, so I didn't win the prize. So I kept rolling to see if chance would be consistant with the math or would decide on a different path, and as I was rolling, one of the dice, through some sort of genetic mutation, had a side with seven dots on it. As I picked it up to examine it, it bit me. Of course, I dropped it and it sprouted a leg and multiplied. So there I was, sitting dumbfounded with a hoarde of mutated seven dotted one legged dice moving around the table. I decided that I couldn't let the evolutionists win and I took my shoe off and started killing them. Most of them tried to push themselves away from the shoe with their one foot. This proved futile. I easily smashed them down to their six dot max ancesters. Some, however, figured out how to hop and I chased them all around the room to well past midnight. I think I got them all. But if this were a horror movie, once I walked off and turned out the light, there would be one close to the camera in a dark corner of the room, the seven dots glowing red and the screen faded to black and the credits rolled. It would hint at a sequel in the rare case that people like stupid horror movies about evolving dice with teeth and one foot...

I miss writing. I have determined to... well... I dno't want to tell you abou tit this way... let's have some fun with it. I've been dabbling a little in ancient history lately. We'll use that as a vehicle.

I have not yet been conqured by sleep.
As the sun climbed tot he peak of its invisable mountain
I have driven sleep from inside my walls
This barbarian tribe stays behind the tree line
waiting again to strike
I laugh at them - HA
My gates are still open
Trade is still going forth
Ideas going out and coming in
That is the trade and bounty of my city.
Caffeine is my sentry, watching from my high walls for the mounting attack
Sleep wants my ideas to fuel the dreams
which it thrives on
Dreams of emotion, terror, delight, freedom
It wants dreams to live in
to provide entertainment for its weary soldiers
I say no.
I shall stand and fight until every last man is overcome.
I shall proceed with the trade I know
Ideas shall pour forth as water from a rock at the hand of God
There shall be no end until everyone is satisfied
There is a rustle in the trees
Arrows float in the sky
My sentries fall.
The battle is here
Ah... I am struck
I can feel numbness from my wound where there should be pain
My sword becomes heavy, my knees weak
I have fallen

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Work, Dreams, and well... I don't know... we'll call her Silvia

Sunday night, I sat down about midnight to get some work done, and I worked straight until 5:30 am. There was so much to do. My roommate got up and commented that I was up early. I told him I was up late. So I slept for a few hours, worked a little more, went to a safety meeting, worked some more, napped a bit, worked some more (these mores are not very long, but Mondays are the busiest days) ate dinner, read a bit, worked more, took the dog for a walk, watched a movie and worked until now. Mostly, I worked, but in little bits here and there which I prefer.

I've noticed that I like to take things a little bit at a time. I cut my food small, chew it to pieces, read my books a chapter at a time (then switch books). I like to switch what I'm doing every few minutes. I wonder if that's bad.

The movie I watched was called, "The Legend of 1900" and was about a man who spent his whole life on a cruise ship, from birth to death, and was the most amazing piano player ever. It's a great movie and I recommend it, but there is a bit of swearing. It makes me want to write something creative... I haven't written creatively in a long time... I daresay years... I did write a book in February... so I guess that counts, but I focused more or less on non-fiction... so I guess that statement I made about not writing creatively is a falsehood. I didn't mean to lie. I just don't have a great comprehension of time passing. I know it passes and I know how to measure it. I even know where time goes. It goes to the past where it congregates to either haunt us or praise us, depending on how kind we were to it as it was passing.

Sometimes I think that I'm too normal. I'm trapped in my body which is not really my own. The limitations put on by my flesh are mourned by my mind. I have dreams which should disturb me, but I watch them as if they were a movie. Last week, I had a dream that someone cut and peeled my skin off. I could feel the scalpel cutting the skin and it hurt, but I did not cry out in pain. I could feel the cool air rush inside me and between my organs and I could feel the flesh, trying to stay together. It wasn't all cut off. I was topless on the table and the doctor (I don't know if it actually was a doctor) just cut a big rectangle from just below my next, down my sides and finished it off under my belly button. He was looking for fat cells and he found some. I, being fully conscious (inside my dream) was more concerned about the fat cells he was finding than the fact that he was cutting my skin off. And as weird and disgusting as this dream was, I can write it with emotional detachment, as if I were discussing something trivial like pancake batter. I have killed and been killed in dreams before. I wish not to remember the dreams in which I have killed, but I do remember running away from someone... I think it was the mafia... and I was "winning." The people chasing me were falling for my tricks and I was turning running for my life into a sport. In the end, I got cocky and tripped over something meaningless, and they caught up with me and shot my head off. The second they did, I was hovering over my body looking down, thinking to myself... that was a fun game, even though I lost. I have had weird dreams where I lived in a barrel with a wife and two daughters, been kidnapped by aliens and became an intergalactic fighter pilot, woke up from a trance to find myself on a subway in a car full of hypnotized people guarded by fish men. All sorts of weird ones. The last emotional one I've had, waking up with tears in my eyes, was another one where I was running. I had tricked the cops into thinking I had left town when I hadn't. I waited a week and they gave up the search. I don't remember what I did, or why I was running, but whatever it was, I wasn't denying that I did it. When I thought the coast was clear, I snuck out of my hiding place and walked along the road at night. Up ahead, it just so happened, that one of the policemen was walking one of the search dogs. What horribly luck. I dove behind a bush knowing it was useless. The dog sure enough, picked up on my scent and found me. So I was caught. I congratulated the officer on his good fortune and gave up. What made it emotional was at that very moment, people I knew started walking by. My Sunday School kids and friends from Shoreline Clavary Chapel. The cop was nice and let me talk to them and explain what was going on. He didn't cuff me in front of them. I kept a smiling face as I explained to them that I was going to prison because I did something wrong (I knew what it was at the time. I jsut can't remember now) and that I was going to miss them. My heart was breaking inside of me and I dare not show it. There were so many questions and everytime I got done explaining, someone else would come by. I was so ashamed. I don't know why I'm writing my dreams down here, but I should end with a fun one. The night before that dream, I dreamt that I discovered a talent I had. I could throw forks and stick them into walls. I grabbed a bunch and threw them everywhere, even into someone's sandwhich as he held it to his mouth. (he wasbn't hurt, and we all had a good laugh.)

And sometimes, when I'm awake, my head feels like it's trying to think too fast and I can't get anything legible out of it. When that happens, it's like part of me is paralized. (not physically) I can see and hear and function, but nothing really seems to register. It's like I'm thinking of everything at once and I freeze up like a computer. If I were, I would ctrl-alt-delete, but I can't in real life. It tickles too much.

All this writing because I wanted to write something creative. Well... here goes...

She stands alone in the first rays of morning. The waves crash on the rocks below her as she stands upon the cliffs edge. Tears slip down her face, over freckles and rosy cheeks. Her hair hides her face from the ocean as if trying to save her the embarrassment. Her wet blue eyes stare out at a blurry sea. She hugs herself in the morning chill and whispers to the last fading memories of night. She vows to never return. She then kicks a rock over the edge as if to seal the deal, and turns into the rising sun with a smile that carries with it an air of determination. Today is a new day, she tells herself. And this day will last forever.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Discipleship. Historians, and Jesus

So I was at Worship Generation tonight and had a few new ideas for ministries. They are not fully formed yet, but one of them is D&D. Discipleship and Dinner. I haven't discipled anyone for a few years now and I miss it. On the bike ride home and the walk with Snaps afterward, I wrote this in my head.

Thoughts on Discipleship

The most difficult thing about discipleship is getting over your own pride. It's a constant battle that needs to be fought and won every time you meet. As a discipler, it's easy to think that you are a very spiritual person and are doing things right because this person is following you and taking what you say to heart. Disciples follow and become like those who disciple them. It's like trying to mold your heart to look like the one you are following. That being so, it is easy to give worldly advice disguised as Godly advice because you feel good about this person trying to be like you, so you say what you would do. That's wrong.

Jesus told His disciples to make disciples of all the world. Paul said to follow me as I follow Christ and that is exactly what they need to see. The aim of my discipleship is to help my disciples listen to God directly. Once they can do that, they don't need me anymore. That doesn't mean we can't be friends, but after that, all I can say is... did you pray about it yet? What did God say? You should do that. That should be the goal of all discipleship, that the disciples would learn to follow Christ and the way they do that is by watching us follow Christ.

So I was thinking of offering my dinnertimes on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays to anyone (guy) who wants to be discipled. (If you are a girl and want to be discipled, I can help you fine one. If you want, I'll come up with a list of questions to ask people and what the answers should be. (That sounds like a fun exercise. If you don't see it up here soon, ask me about it.)) As for dinners, we will eat in or go out. Whatever. I like food. If you're interested, leave a comment and I will email you.

So I was eating dinner in Taco Bell earlier and as I ate, I wrote this in my head:

Why I don't trust Historians.

Historians are like gossipers, but the people they gossip about are usually dead. Also, no historian is ever fully trusted. The old greek historians like Herdotus get their stories from other people (Greeks or Persians) who have passed down these stories from oral tradition. Now I like stories, but in reading history books, I've learned that historians do nothing but quote other historians. He said that he said that this other guy said that he heard this story once. First hand accounts are hard to find for the ancient world, and even those have a spin put on them becasue they are written with a bias. I read in this history book about a Sumaritan king who withdrew from battle because the Goddess he was fighting for felt sorry for his opponents and didn't want them distroyed. So even first hands accounts can't really be trusted. Is it that impossible to find out what really happened? Who knows what is true when the only thing that survives the centuries are clay tablets from people that no one even remembers. Archeologests and palentologists do their best to deduce what things were like from the clues they find, but they are just guessing. It's like getting thousands of puzzle pieces from different puzzles that are all mixed together and trying to make a picture when you don't even know what it is supposed to be like. So what they do, along with the help of historians, is make up what they think happened, and see if all the pieces fit somewhere in that theory. (Same type of reasoning with Evolution.)

So historians pick and choose what parts of other historical books can be trusted and publish it in their own books so other people can do the same to them. The difference between those history books and the Bible is that the Bible is all written either first hand or second hand. If the person writing the book wasn't actually there, then God told them what to write. (We see this in some of the Prophetic books where God commands the writer not to write something down. We read the command, but not what was not supposed to be written.) That's how we know that God created the world, because He told us. We dont' have to prove it or argue for it. We know it to be true and if anyone wants to believe something else, it's like a dog chasing after his own tail. (My dog doesn't do this, mostly because she only has a nub back there.) It looks silly, accomplishes nothing except makes the dog tired, and everyone gets a good laugh at the futility. This doesn't mean I'm going to stop reading history. I still think that the stories are entertaining and at least help me get an idea of what might have happened, but I'm not putting my trust in those "facts." I will just trust the Bible.

So I had a lot of thinking time today. It came after a lot of church. Last night, I sat in on a Kindergarten-1st grade class on the Armor of God. This morning, Pastor Sam taught the letter to Ephesus in the book of Revelation. Then I went into the 4th -6th grade class for a lesson from 1 Samuel about the ark being captured. 3rd service was spent in the High School class on Hebrews 1. The teacher teaching 1 Samuel said it would be wrong to trust in a Guardian Angel as a substitute for having a relationship with Jesus. I was thinking that I have a Guardian Jesus.

I love my God.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Bicycles, The Scottish Games, and the San Francisco Zoo

So I found out that I'm horribly out of shape today. I thought I was fit, walking my dog every night and playing soccer with High Schoolers on Wednesdays and Elementary Schoolers on Sundays, but boy was I wrong. I know this because I went to visit my parents for a week and came back with a bicycle that has sat in their garage for the past six years or so. It was my brother's bike, but I don't think he rode it since he started driving. It was a cheap one, and the years didn't add any value. The tires were flat, so I walked it 1.6 miles to a Safeway gas station to fill up the tires. The air pump cost 75 cents, but just turned on by itself when I got close. Whether God was just blessing me miraculously, or the attendant saw me from the convenience store, I will never know, but I still credit the act to God. I put some air in, rode in a circle and put some more in the back tire. I then went to the thrift store looking for a bicycle light. I didn't see one, but I did see a $6 skateboard, and about $6 more dollars worth of stuff that I wanted... including a lamp and shade for my room and a bowl for the river rocks I've been gathering. I didn't buy anything since I was on my bike and when I came back later with my car, the store was closed. I guess I'll just go tomorrow. Then I biked 4 miles to Bidwell Park, put my feet in the public pool and read the rest of the intro to Herdotus, the Father of History. I'll start the actual text tomorrow. I hope I like it. Then it was an easy half mile to Rite Aid (where I bought a bike light and lock) and to my mailbox around the corner. The trip back was 3.5 miles and I was sweaty, tired, and sweaty... I had to wipe the sweat that kept rolling down my nose every few pumps and my legs felt like jello. The idea is to ride to church 3 times a week instead of driving which is 5.8 miles... each way... granted it won't be 98 degrees outside in the mornings or evenings, but I don't know about that. I think I need to work my way up to that trek. Well... anyway, the back wheel is misaligned because it comes really close to the bar on one side and has lots of space on the other. Also, it's a mountain bike, which is nice for trail riding, but not as nice for city riding. I did get a light so I can ride at night... now I just need batteries.

On Tuesday, two of my brothers and I went to the San Francisco Zoo (nice transition, huh?) We saw lions and tigers and bears and even took pictures. Here are a few of my favorites.

The reason I went to see my parents was for the Scottish Games on Labor Day Weekend. I extended my trip a few days on either end of the weekend to avoid traffic and to eat their food longer. (They eat better food than I do) But the Scottish Games are fun. It's the same every year. We work in the information booth and I missed last year and still could answer questions. My brother Matt missed the last five years and could answer them too. We've been working that booth since the Games moved to Pleasanton in 1994. We have pictures of the Games too.

Of course there weren't just games. There were lots of Bagpipes and dancers and Scottish foods and all sorts of stuff labeled Scottish

And there were animals too

All in all it's a good time. I would recommend making it at least once in your life. If you do, come by the information booth under the GrandStand. Chances are, I'll be there.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Anyone want to take a survey?

I just want to see if this works... you can ignore this post if you want.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

My trip to Portlandish and Seattle

After I took the CBEST, I traveled north with some friends who came through town. We stayed in what I call a mansion, but other people called it a house.
We met the cousins of the friends who I drove up with and spent a day playing with them and hanging out in and around the mansion/house.
Then we traveled North to Seattle, stopping first at Multinomah falls

Once we got to Seattle, Shruti took us around and to Queen Anne hill for the sunset.We then went further North to San Juan Island to see another friend, Jana. I didn't remember to take a picture of her, but here's the lighthouse we went to.
Then we went to see another waterfall East of Washington with Dave. I don't remember what it's called.

On the way back, we stopped to see the very first Starbucks at Pikes Place Market. There was a country band outside at the time.

I know this is just an impersonal account of the trip, but I really would rather do something outside of the blog on

Look for it soon.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I'm back... and I have pictures

I didn't really go anywhere, but I'm back from my time of house-sitting and studying. I took the CBEST on Saturday morning so I can become a Substitute Teacher. I think I passed easily, but I won't get the results back for a month. So, while I wait, I'm going to drive up to Seattle with my friends to see another friend with a stop in Portland to well... so they can see their family... I
don't have any friends in Portland... that I know of... Anyway, I'm all moved in and I have pictures of my new place.
This is my car, Malchus, parked in front of my house.

This is my dog, Snaps, parked in front of my house

Then she parked in the living room. We don't have a lot of furniture yet.

And this is my room. There would be more picture, but it's a small room and I the other pictures didn't turn out well. My roommate/Landlord Rich is a great guy. He's only been going to Calvary Chapel Chico for a month and he moved in about 4-5 months ago. He is still painting the living room so he doesn't want to get furniture until he's done. God told him to rent out a room two weeks before he met me. God is good, isn't He? I couldn't have planned this better.

I also have a new cell. Email me on it at
My normal email is
Pretty cool how that works out, huh?