If my life was a chair, it was a rocking chair I would wake up in the mornings (if I had to) and go to work. Then I would hang out with friends, come home to work some more, and go to bed. I went between work and sleep and work and play and work and sleep and so forth.
However, I have found out that I need to move. And that same week, my computer broke down, which means that I can't work that job. So now I feel like the whole world is off balance and I can't make enough money to build up enough to pay a security deposit and first and last month's rent before I have to move. And since I don't have any roommates lined up, I'd have to find a place on my own.
I do have an option that will be cheap. I like cheap, and I don't mind living in a small space, but I would be sharing a bedroom. I like the guy enough to consider it, but I like my privacy. I don't want people listening to me talk in my sleep. If I have to, I will. It might be good for me. I would have to get rid of a ton of my stuff... and so would he. It's a lot to consider. I don't know how we would fit. I'm praying for a better solution to the problem. I'm still praying. God told me not to look for places yet. I can let people know my situation, but I can't go looking. Either He wants to bless me and the timing isn't right or He wants to bless me and my heart isn't right. Maybe, if I started looking now, I would take the first "deal" that came along and it would be bad. I want God to tell me I can look so I can find a place to live. I don't like waiting. But more than wanting that, I want to be obedient. If you are reading this, and you know Jesus, personally, please ask Him to change my heart to be patient and obedient. I want to serve Him, but sometimes I think more about me than Him.
He does work through my selfishness. As I taught in church on Wednesday, five kids came to know Jesus as their Savior. Three in my K-1 group, one in my 2-3rd grade group, and one more in the 4-6th grade. It's been a blessing seeing the fruit of God's work, and getting to be the one who would ask the question and see the response. I love what God does through me. And this is through the teaching of Psalm 51. All day long, I was wondering how I was going to explain David's sin with Bathsheba. It wasn't until I already said it to the kids that I knew what I was saying. (In case you are curious, I said he stole another man's wife.) Each class was different, as always, and different points were highlighted but all went to the same message. We sin like David sinned, but God still loved David, and He loves us too. So much so that He paid for our sins by Jesus dying on the cross. And even though we do bad, we can still go to Heaven because He loves us. All we have to do is love Him back, and we show Him that by doing what He says. So easy a child can understand. And they did.
Setting Sun - Sun Setting in SoCal...I forget where exactly.....
4 months ago