Monday, June 27, 2011

Pain and being in it

There is so much pain in the world. I feel like a collector lately. People hurt, so I share in their pain. I listen and grieve and apologize for things I never did. I try hard not to excuse bad behavior, but I try to steer away from self-righteousness and blame shifting. It's all my fault.

I hurt you. I did it. Blame it on me. I took your world and smashed it with a hammer. I broke through your defenses and left you cold and beaten amongst the stones. But I also bled with you. I also died with you. I also tasted the bitterness of defeat with you.

I've been senseless and hurtful and selfish. Will you forgive me? I loved only me before but now I love you and I don't want you to be alone anymore. If you have to take it out, take it out on me. If you have to talk it out, talk it out to me.

I'm here to be the hero, the villain, the victim, or the therapist that tells you it's going to be okay. I'm the detective that helps you find the good in evil. Reverse evil and live. There is good in everything and we need to look.

I'm here to hold your hand, to brace your back, to catch you when you fall. I'm here to lead the way, to pull you through, to stay with you through it all. I'm here for you.

My heart is tender, but not weak. If feels pain, but not defeat. My victory comes from pain and through pain. It comes from the pain of the cross. I am a messenger of God with one message.

This ain't over yet. Just wait and see.

Okay... maybe that's two. But I'll wait with you.


J said...

seems to be a common thread in life: just hang in there. Hang in there to see how it turns out, to see what happens, to see victory (and to rejoice), to see defeat (and to weep), to be there when the hammer falls. Hang in there, ready to act/react as the situation evolves. Ready to support, to stand back up, to catch. Ready to applaud, to cheer, to celebrate. Or just ready to wait some more. Thanks for making me think.

Diane said...

J said it... waiting, waiting, and waiting some more. Ugh. It's frustrating.

Jonathan, it never ceases to amaze me how in person you're so quiet and never have much to say (except when teaching of course) but then you put your fingertips to the keyboard and all this amazing stuff comes out. I hope everyone who knows you knows how wonderful you are.