It is in times of weakness where I wish I could go back on the promises I made to the Lord. I wish that the covenants I entered into were void since God doesn't hold others to that particular conviction. I wish I was younger in the Lord and I didn't know certain things were not okay with God, so I could continue to sin in ignorance.
But thankfully, times of weakness are temporary. The convictions I have that I wished I didn't keep me from acting out my heart when it is following the flesh. That's when I need convictions the most. No one has to remind me it's wrong to steal when I have everything I want. No one has to remind me that I shouldn't lie if the truth I have to tell is so wonderful that lying would only be boring. But it is when my focus is off of Jesus and on the winds and the waves around me that I start to sink. And I need His hand to pull me up and His voice to accuse me of having little faith. But I do have a little.
I do desire a right relationship with God. But I also desire others to have one too. Sometimes, when I'm in a time of weakness and listening to the flesh, the thought that other people look to me and my walk with God help motivate me to put my flesh aside. I'm not afraid that I would be judged, well maybe a little, but I'm afraid that I may lead others to stumble. I don't want to do that.
I want to set a good example of a God following, Chist Loving, Spirit driven man. I want the younger guys in my life to see that it is possible and something they can attain. (If I can do it, anyone can.) I want the young ladies to see that it is possible and that they shouldn't seek a relationship with anyone who loves God less. I want to give them a standard to compare whatever cute guy they are interested in against to see if he really loves God or not.
I want to live and love my Christ.
Some people notice that after times of Spiritual Retreats and "Mountain times," they encounter a huge trial. I would also like to suggest the reverse. After a time of weakness, a time of testing, a trial, if you hold onto the Lord, there is a Spiritual strengthening like the angels ministering to Jesus in the desert.
I usually find that in times of weakness, when I notice that I am weak... the first hour in the Word is the hardest. But every hour after that is amazing!
"Be fruitful and multiply." -God
Setting Sun - Sun Setting in SoCal...I forget where exactly.....
10 months ago